Reckless.

I feel reckless.
I want to do something dangerous and out of control.
I doubt it'll actually happen though
I'm too chicken.

I'm not exactly sure why hearing what I already know to be true is causing me to tear up and breathe deeply, but it is. I'm tired of feeling this way. Like I'll never be "good enough". Oh no- let THEM tell it, I'm perfect. Far more amazing than anybody else. But don't you think that if that rang true on SOME level, they'd make a move?!

I'm so tired of being the amazing one who is "unattainable", but in reality I'm so right in your face you can't even see me enough to know that all you have to do is grab my hand.

I want you to feel. I want you to miss me and crave me just as I do you. I don't know how to make you do that. I'm so desperate for you to know what I know and experience what I experience for just ONE DAY. Is that so much to ask for? Really?

Dammit! Why couldn't I just stick around in a loveless relationship for a bit longer? At least I would have someone there when I needed them.