It's a weird thing to say, but I'm so glad my parents raised me in "white-washed" Spokane Valley. I may have identity issues and issues with my own race, but really...I'm so glad that those stereotypical things that are associated with "being black" don't apply to me. I've really spent my life making sure that those who assumed I would behave like the general black populace were proven wrong. So far, so good.
The reason I say this is because today at work I had the "pleasure" [is that SARCASM?] of dealing with two young black girls. I call them girls because despite their age, they behaved like little children. I'd been having a wonderful time at work despite already having to kick out a previous customer who has a tendency to steal our chocolate delicacies when he thinks no one is looking. Today was the final straw, when after I told him to put the handful of candy back down and he didn't listen- we told him to never come back. [*shakes head*-- we shouldn't have to babysit grown people] Back to the story- I was having a great day. They walk in around 4:30ish and one of them asks to use the bathroom. My coworker informed her that you have to be a paying customer and the other girl interupted to say that she was planning on buying something. So she asked where the key was and was told that it was in the basket by the Odwalla fridge [right in front of her face, mind you.] She got a slight attitude and asked where again. I finally interjected and pointed to it.
I took the other ones order [tall carmel hot chocolate with whip...this is important.] and told her the total [$2 something] she then lifted her bag to retreive her wallet a good five feet away from where I was standing at the register. I gently informed her that the register was over here and she retorted back that she knew that. [riiiiiight] I mumble some sort of explanation that people tend to get confused because our layout is a bit complicated. She pays, I give her change back and go about checking off my list of things to 'get-er-done'. The short one comes back and is mumbling some sort of complaint and then throws the key in the candy basket [where it's full of candy...wtf?! idiot...] I sigh incredibly loudly to get the point across that I was VERY irritated with their manner and snatched it from the basket and threw it hard into the correct one. By this time, the other girl [who got the drink] has taken a sip of her drink and starts freaking out. [remember...she took a sip.] She's saying something about "omg---I just drank coffee. I hope I don't have a heart attack...blahdeblahdeblah."
Now, I've had it up to here at this point, but with customers-my tolerance level for their stupidity, arrogance, and just downright rudeness is raised strictly because I'm at work. So my coworker tells her that she made a mistake and proceeds to remake the drink without being asked to. Then these two start complaining LOUDLY about it, as if this doesn't happen ever-in-life! I'm trying to hold back everything I want to say to these two when the drink ordering girl [we'll call her #1] asks me if we have cards. I give her a blank stare and say back, "what KIND of card? we have a lot of cards." She serves more attitude with her reply [which I forgot. ] So after some back and forth I ask, "a business card?" She says yes, to which I reply, "You need to be more specific when you ask for something." [I'm even MORE irritated because she thinks she's going to get desired results from calling the manager?! NEWSFLASH HONEY-WE answer the phones back here and ALWAYS take messages. So any "complaint" would go through us first. And even if he heard it, what is he gonna do? He's gonna ask if we remade the drink for you and then when you say yes, he'll say that's about all they could've done!]
Then I hear more complaining from idiots #1 and #2. My coworker tells me that she didn't actually read the slip of paper but that once she saw the word 'caramel' she assumed it was a latte. She's admitting her mistake, right?! Of course, this entire exchange of complaining and admitting fault is happening with just the counter between the two parties. So I say VERY loudly and VERY nonchalantly, "WHAAATEVER." and shrug and laugh because really- it's not that big of a deal. You won't have a heartattack from a sip of espresso no matter how sensitive your heart is. [Because if you were really THAT heart sensitive, you'd have croaked from how fat you already are...c'mon now.]
One of them mocks my "whatever" statement. At this point, I slammed the pen that I was writing with down on the counter and look up and say, "Alright. I'm sick of hearing you two complain. You have two options- you can take a refund or you can sit there and wait for her to remake it. Either way, you're going to have to just leave." SO OF COURSE- they start shouting back at me. I maintain my cool, calm, but pissed composure and tell them they have those two options only. #2 tells me to stop talking to her. I laugh and tell her to get out of my store. She tells me no and what am I gonna do about it. I tell her regardless she's going to leave the store. She tells me to call the cops, so I reach back and grab the phone and dial 911.
They're accustomed to our calls so I explained where I worked and that there were two customers who wouldn't leave the premises when asked to do so. They're mouthing off in the background [to my face.] and I'm describing them to the lady. She asks their race. I say african american [why? because it OBVIOUSLY shows my intelligence level. they would've said black. i know when to be PC about certain things.] She asks their age. Now, I know they are over 20 but just to piss them off more I say "15". BAHAHAHAHAHHA! They start freaking out even more and yelling and threatening to beat my ass.
I think it's all hilarious. I'm smiling in their faces throughout the entire exchange. I love it. That's pretty much it. I eventually called the cops back and told them they left the store. They asked if I wanted to do anything about the threats. I laughed and said no. I'm not intimidated by people who think they can just talk loudly to get their way. I won't back down especially because I know that the louder you talk, the less likely you are to really do something aobut it.
I'd LOVE to see their faces if I had suggested we take this outside. I could've easily taken them BOTH.
...and you see, they ended up leaving regardless.....wasn't I right?
xoXo.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Friday, October 24, 2008
Often Imitated, NEVER duplicated.
**CAUTION: To all who pry- be prepared for some vulgar language. It might ruin your "innocence" to read this..**
I consider myself to be pretty damn positive, for the most part. Especially considering the people I encounter on a daily basis. It'd be so easy for me to read the riot act on numerous occasions throughout the day, but I try to grit my teeth and smile through it all. Of course, then my blog post count goes up. lol.
This will all make sense later on down the road.
I really wish people would get over they're high school bull/drama. For serious! If you CHOOSE to frequent my pages, be prepared for how I feel about a specific situation. On any given day, I'll post a blog. Where I post, that may differ. The blog can be negative or positive or a cool, even mixture of both. It may be about people who make me happy or people who piss me off. It may be about a situation that I need to sort out or it may be a rant/rave.
THAT ALL BEING SAID: If you "stumble" upon some negativity and you think [or know] it's about you....consider yourself forewarned. That would be your warning. Really. It's not that I'm too scared to say or do anything about it directly to your face. [In this case] It's that I have too much going on to go out of my way to frequent a building I've taken an absence from in order to walk up to you and tell you how much of a douche you are. More likely than not, all a situation requires is a few lines on an internet journal and then we can move on. This means- it's not really worth the energy to open my mouth to say anything. TRANSLATION: You are pretty much unimportant in the big scheme of things at the end of the day.
So what purpose does this post serve? Really, it's just to say-GROW THE FUCK UP. GET OFF MY PAGE. FOR REAL.
I think it's pretty FUCKING pathetic that a place that I no longer frequent is making my blog the "talk of the town". Really? C'mon now. Don't you have some other sophomoric drama to deal with? Isn't so&so sleeping with so&so's boyfriend or whatshisname coming out of the closet or whatever you kiddos deal with on a daily basis?
Regarding this situation: I think it's cowardly to not give respect when it's due. When the tables were turned [I say when because not too long ago, they were], didn't I PERSONALLY come up to you and give you the proper respect you deserved. Not because you had ownership or copyrights, but because I didn't want there to be any misunderstandings on why I chose the piece. In THIS situation, I really DO have ownership. Anyone who has a working braincell in their head knows the true origin of the piece. My name is on it- not only because I sat at the computer and midi'ed the stuff in, but because I also arranged it from the ground up.
Don't be mistaken- I am not bringing this up because I want to start some rivalry or some myspace/facebook drama. I have moved on past high school/undergrad drama. I am bringing this up because I want it to be known that I think it was foul and dishonest. I also think it's stupid to hear that so&so and their cronies are bringing up my name where it doesn't belong. [I mean, I'm a legend..but GEEEZZZZZ.] I reside in the adult realm [I know. This is a foreign concept, eh?] And where WE kick it, we keep it real. We give props where they are due. We're upfront and honest and we tell it like it is. Again- I'm not going to make the drive to Cap Hill and discuss this face to face- WHY? Because I have two jobs and a life to take care of. I will address it here simply because I know the message will be passed on [sad, but true.]
And lastly, I'll leave you with this:
Will the REAL KirandaShaune' please stand up? There is only one me. Imitation is the HIGHEST, MOST SINCEREST form of flattery. I appreciate it, but only when the imitaTOR gives props to the imitaTEE. Ya feel meh?! The next time you try to be me, you better have studied hard and thoroughly- otherwise, you'll look [and sound] like you did.
Keepin' it real, REGARDLESS.
K-
[like Visa, everywhere you wanna be.]
I consider myself to be pretty damn positive, for the most part. Especially considering the people I encounter on a daily basis. It'd be so easy for me to read the riot act on numerous occasions throughout the day, but I try to grit my teeth and smile through it all. Of course, then my blog post count goes up. lol.
This will all make sense later on down the road.
I really wish people would get over they're high school bull/drama. For serious! If you CHOOSE to frequent my pages, be prepared for how I feel about a specific situation. On any given day, I'll post a blog. Where I post, that may differ. The blog can be negative or positive or a cool, even mixture of both. It may be about people who make me happy or people who piss me off. It may be about a situation that I need to sort out or it may be a rant/rave.
THAT ALL BEING SAID: If you "stumble" upon some negativity and you think [or know] it's about you....consider yourself forewarned. That would be your warning. Really. It's not that I'm too scared to say or do anything about it directly to your face. [In this case] It's that I have too much going on to go out of my way to frequent a building I've taken an absence from in order to walk up to you and tell you how much of a douche you are. More likely than not, all a situation requires is a few lines on an internet journal and then we can move on. This means- it's not really worth the energy to open my mouth to say anything. TRANSLATION: You are pretty much unimportant in the big scheme of things at the end of the day.
So what purpose does this post serve? Really, it's just to say-GROW THE FUCK UP. GET OFF MY PAGE. FOR REAL.
I think it's pretty FUCKING pathetic that a place that I no longer frequent is making my blog the "talk of the town". Really? C'mon now. Don't you have some other sophomoric drama to deal with? Isn't so&so sleeping with so&so's boyfriend or whatshisname coming out of the closet or whatever you kiddos deal with on a daily basis?
Regarding this situation: I think it's cowardly to not give respect when it's due. When the tables were turned [I say when because not too long ago, they were], didn't I PERSONALLY come up to you and give you the proper respect you deserved. Not because you had ownership or copyrights, but because I didn't want there to be any misunderstandings on why I chose the piece. In THIS situation, I really DO have ownership. Anyone who has a working braincell in their head knows the true origin of the piece. My name is on it- not only because I sat at the computer and midi'ed the stuff in, but because I also arranged it from the ground up.
Don't be mistaken- I am not bringing this up because I want to start some rivalry or some myspace/facebook drama. I have moved on past high school/undergrad drama. I am bringing this up because I want it to be known that I think it was foul and dishonest. I also think it's stupid to hear that so&so and their cronies are bringing up my name where it doesn't belong. [I mean, I'm a legend..but GEEEZZZZZ.] I reside in the adult realm [I know. This is a foreign concept, eh?] And where WE kick it, we keep it real. We give props where they are due. We're upfront and honest and we tell it like it is. Again- I'm not going to make the drive to Cap Hill and discuss this face to face- WHY? Because I have two jobs and a life to take care of. I will address it here simply because I know the message will be passed on [sad, but true.]
And lastly, I'll leave you with this:
Will the REAL KirandaShaune' please stand up? There is only one me. Imitation is the HIGHEST, MOST SINCEREST form of flattery. I appreciate it, but only when the imitaTOR gives props to the imitaTEE. Ya feel meh?! The next time you try to be me, you better have studied hard and thoroughly- otherwise, you'll look [and sound] like you did.
Keepin' it real, REGARDLESS.
K-
[like Visa, everywhere you wanna be.]
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Yay For Courage
So I'm kinda proud of myself. I'm definitely giving myself a few props because I had the courage to tell him how he made me feel the other day. How he was a "Debby Downer" and it was totally toxic and contagious.
I had a good chat with Lauren yesterday and I told her about the thrice-torn parts of me. 1) "I deserve better, fuck you." 2) "Love me, love me, love me." and 3) "One day he'll open his eyes" And how I'm scared that if I make a choice and run with it, I'll eventually develop buyers remorse. I'm just worried that if I take door #1, I'll feel like, "maybe I should've held out a little longer". And with door #2, "I wish I hadn't been so dramatic and needy". And of course #3, wondering if I should've let go sooner somewhere down the road. It's all really confusing and since the outcome is unknown.
I just want things to be back the way they were. I know I say this all the time and all the complaining gets a bit old, but that's where I'm at right now. A friend of mine asked me how things were romantically and I told him that it's not going too well simply because of the whole boy situation, but that I'm going to use it. I really intend on doing that. My music can only get better because I'm writing from experience and when I sing those songs I'll be able to bring more to it, ykwim?
*SIGH* That's all I can say for now.
I had a good chat with Lauren yesterday and I told her about the thrice-torn parts of me. 1) "I deserve better, fuck you." 2) "Love me, love me, love me." and 3) "One day he'll open his eyes" And how I'm scared that if I make a choice and run with it, I'll eventually develop buyers remorse. I'm just worried that if I take door #1, I'll feel like, "maybe I should've held out a little longer". And with door #2, "I wish I hadn't been so dramatic and needy". And of course #3, wondering if I should've let go sooner somewhere down the road. It's all really confusing and since the outcome is unknown.
I just want things to be back the way they were. I know I say this all the time and all the complaining gets a bit old, but that's where I'm at right now. A friend of mine asked me how things were romantically and I told him that it's not going too well simply because of the whole boy situation, but that I'm going to use it. I really intend on doing that. My music can only get better because I'm writing from experience and when I sing those songs I'll be able to bring more to it, ykwim?
*SIGH* That's all I can say for now.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Banging My Head On That Familiar Wall
Why oh why am I infatuated with a man who continues to be unavailable?
This is the question I keep asking myself. I'm not sure of the answer and the last few times I've been in his presence I tend to get my feelbads hurt. [*pouty face*] I think I'm just being sensitive. I keep trying to be accomodating and flexible, but he takes that and tells me, in other words, to just man up. He says I have an "issue" with certain things [which I TOTALLY disagree with] and that I need to work through them and get over them. Of course, then I start pouting. I try not to be so damn transparent, but I wear my emotions so it's hard to keep him from knowing how I feel. Then he asks if I'm pouting or what's with my attitude and then I have to pretend I DON'T have any problems...*argh* It's all a bit much.
I try to enjoy myself in his company, but he's been such a downer lately. And that negativity is just toxic to my already fragile state of mind [whenever I'm around him.] *Blegh*
I just miss the guy I met, you know? I wish he'd come back because him and I got along really well.
But then again, the guy I knew back then was a master at making me feel like the only one. Truth be told, I'm not- nor have I ever been the only one. He was the king at "on this day, we will be what you want us to be" Then the day comes and we are nowhere NEAR where I want to be. Part of me wants to be mad at him and tell him to kick rocks and get the hell on; that I deserve better and how dare you bring the bullshit when you deal with me. But an even bigger part of me wants to convince him the hard way, the long way, that I'm really all you need. I want him to realize on his own that this is where it's at. You know the scenario- something will go horribly wrong or horribly right and his eyes will FINALLY open and he'll look at me and say, "Dammit! You have been here by my side for so long and I've treated you horribly, but you stayed. You're perfect. I love you." blah blah blah and all that mumbojumbo.
Somehow I doubt that.
It was once said to me that I shouldn't let people treat me the way they do. Maybe he was on to something...
This is the question I keep asking myself. I'm not sure of the answer and the last few times I've been in his presence I tend to get my feelbads hurt. [*pouty face*] I think I'm just being sensitive. I keep trying to be accomodating and flexible, but he takes that and tells me, in other words, to just man up. He says I have an "issue" with certain things [which I TOTALLY disagree with] and that I need to work through them and get over them. Of course, then I start pouting. I try not to be so damn transparent, but I wear my emotions so it's hard to keep him from knowing how I feel. Then he asks if I'm pouting or what's with my attitude and then I have to pretend I DON'T have any problems...*argh* It's all a bit much.
I try to enjoy myself in his company, but he's been such a downer lately. And that negativity is just toxic to my already fragile state of mind [whenever I'm around him.] *Blegh*
I just miss the guy I met, you know? I wish he'd come back because him and I got along really well.
But then again, the guy I knew back then was a master at making me feel like the only one. Truth be told, I'm not- nor have I ever been the only one. He was the king at "on this day, we will be what you want us to be" Then the day comes and we are nowhere NEAR where I want to be. Part of me wants to be mad at him and tell him to kick rocks and get the hell on; that I deserve better and how dare you bring the bullshit when you deal with me. But an even bigger part of me wants to convince him the hard way, the long way, that I'm really all you need. I want him to realize on his own that this is where it's at. You know the scenario- something will go horribly wrong or horribly right and his eyes will FINALLY open and he'll look at me and say, "Dammit! You have been here by my side for so long and I've treated you horribly, but you stayed. You're perfect. I love you." blah blah blah and all that mumbojumbo.
Somehow I doubt that.
It was once said to me that I shouldn't let people treat me the way they do. Maybe he was on to something...
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Ramble, Ramble, Ramble.
This songbird says, "Run away little one. Hide behind those walls. It's best for your self-esteem."
Time for a few interesting facts of this songbird. [How painfully obvious is it that I'm super-bored?]
1- I have an intense infatuation with cranberry juice and sliced pastrami. It's borderline insane.
2- I'm pretty athletic. I played basketball, volleyball, cheerleading, and even track throughout my early education. I hate stretching though. Is that weird?
3- It's pretty disgusting, but I like to chew on my toenails!! Ew, I know. But I peel them off and chew 'em then spit them out. Don't judge..
4- When I'm alone in my car, I pretend I'm making a music video. Especially if I really love the song I'm singing along to.
5- I love being an artsy farsty pants. Things like sewing, knitting, scrapbooking, painting, interior decorating..yea- they're right up my alley. I can spend hours in a craft/fabric store. Just imagine what my life as a SAHM will be like. lol
6- I like using an accent when I'm being super barista. My favorites: country and british.
7-My lucky number is 1. Go figure, right?
8- Every single song I've ever written was written from personal experience. Wicked, eh?
9- I LOVE being barefoot. There's nothing better! And how cool is it that my job [at TLG] requires me to be barefoot ALL DAY!
10- I was born 3 months early. I have stubby fingers and toes. I'm also really headstrong and stubborn. I chose which day to be born so that makes me a rockstar.
xoXo.
[that means little kiss, little hug, big kiss, little hug.]
k.
Time for a few interesting facts of this songbird. [How painfully obvious is it that I'm super-bored?]
1- I have an intense infatuation with cranberry juice and sliced pastrami. It's borderline insane.
2- I'm pretty athletic. I played basketball, volleyball, cheerleading, and even track throughout my early education. I hate stretching though. Is that weird?
3- It's pretty disgusting, but I like to chew on my toenails!! Ew, I know. But I peel them off and chew 'em then spit them out. Don't judge..
4- When I'm alone in my car, I pretend I'm making a music video. Especially if I really love the song I'm singing along to.
5- I love being an artsy farsty pants. Things like sewing, knitting, scrapbooking, painting, interior decorating..yea- they're right up my alley. I can spend hours in a craft/fabric store. Just imagine what my life as a SAHM will be like. lol
6- I like using an accent when I'm being super barista. My favorites: country and british.
7-My lucky number is 1. Go figure, right?
8- Every single song I've ever written was written from personal experience. Wicked, eh?
9- I LOVE being barefoot. There's nothing better! And how cool is it that my job [at TLG] requires me to be barefoot ALL DAY!
10- I was born 3 months early. I have stubby fingers and toes. I'm also really headstrong and stubborn. I chose which day to be born so that makes me a rockstar.
xoXo.
[that means little kiss, little hug, big kiss, little hug.]
k.
Ramblings Of A Muse
I just booked the shoot!
OH. EM. GEE!
This is so exciting. I'm excited to do it. The date (as of now- assuming I don't pick up a shift or accidentally schedule something else) is next monday! WOO! This means that I can hit the gym really hard for the next week. It's not that I really NEED the workout, I just know I will feel loads better if I bust it out and watch what I put in my body for the week. This photoshoot is all about celebrating my body and really owning it.
Hmm. YEA..
Tonight at work- I'm so tempted to beat this blonde bitch down. She's pissing me the fuck off. Why? Because she keeps coming up to me and asking me to reset the wi-fi. Now-typically...NO PROBLEMO! But since this isn't my store, I'm not about to go flipping switches and unplugging things for one person since it seems that EVERYONE else is doing just fine on their laptops. Sorry you're a douche and your computer sucks monkey balls. Get outta mah face and do something with yourself. Eventually though- I got a few more complaints and I called one of the managers to figure out what to do and where to do it. Afterwards- no such complaints. lol
Updizzle- In support of all things good musically, I went out and bought Jason Mraz's album, "We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things". Ch-ch-check it out! I also found him on blogger. Oh *swoon* He is just all things gorgeeeeeeee. Did you know this man has a tattoo on his right shoulder/chest area that says RESTAREA. How freaking romantic?!?!?! I told Reshard he should get that. He gave me THAT look. [<=====BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Click the link!]
In other news: I think it's pretty FUCKING unfair that I can't have a crush on a celebrity without being "adolescent" but it's alright to plan your future with a guy you've ACTUALLY never met [online]. [ie: planning a hiking trip, cruises, and such.] and I'M the immature one.
hm. thought provoking.
stay sweet kids. *muah*
OH. EM. GEE!
This is so exciting. I'm excited to do it. The date (as of now- assuming I don't pick up a shift or accidentally schedule something else) is next monday! WOO! This means that I can hit the gym really hard for the next week. It's not that I really NEED the workout, I just know I will feel loads better if I bust it out and watch what I put in my body for the week. This photoshoot is all about celebrating my body and really owning it.
Hmm. YEA..
Tonight at work- I'm so tempted to beat this blonde bitch down. She's pissing me the fuck off. Why? Because she keeps coming up to me and asking me to reset the wi-fi. Now-typically...NO PROBLEMO! But since this isn't my store, I'm not about to go flipping switches and unplugging things for one person since it seems that EVERYONE else is doing just fine on their laptops. Sorry you're a douche and your computer sucks monkey balls. Get outta mah face and do something with yourself. Eventually though- I got a few more complaints and I called one of the managers to figure out what to do and where to do it. Afterwards- no such complaints. lol
Updizzle- In support of all things good musically, I went out and bought Jason Mraz's album, "We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things". Ch-ch-check it out! I also found him on blogger. Oh *swoon* He is just all things gorgeeeeeeee. Did you know this man has a tattoo on his right shoulder/chest area that says RESTAREA. How freaking romantic?!?!?! I told Reshard he should get that. He gave me THAT look. [<=====BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Click the link!]
In other news: I think it's pretty FUCKING unfair that I can't have a crush on a celebrity without being "adolescent" but it's alright to plan your future with a guy you've ACTUALLY never met [online]. [ie: planning a hiking trip, cruises, and such.] and I'M the immature one.
hm. thought provoking.
stay sweet kids. *muah*
Tonight.
I'm excited to work tonight. I wish I was working at the 14th & Pine store [aka Braeburn] because my new crush [usher look-alike...but he's obvi a half-breed and much more intelligent] mentioned he would be back on Sunday. He inquired when I'd be back up there..not until Thursday night. But I said I'd be down here tonight, so hopefully he'll make an appearance. I actually like this store- why? Because the tips are better and it's quieter and smaller. Which means I'll be able to work on my next knitting project and actually close on time.
SPEAKING OF KNITTING- I managed to finish my hat for my good friend Mr. Glenn. I'm excited to give it to him. We'll see how he reacts. I'm not working on a hat for Reshard. He's a little more picky so it's bit more nerve-wracking. But on the upside-I'll get his feedback as the project comes along.
So talking about this upcoming nudey photoshoot has me in an all-kinds-of-horny-state. I'm not exactly sure why. It's quite embarrassing and frustrating at the same time. I mean- a girl can't even get release for at least 6 hours. GEEZ!
I hope I don't encounter any crazies tonight. I really want it to be chill. But you never know- this IS "the hill" after all.
hmm.
SPEAKING OF KNITTING- I managed to finish my hat for my good friend Mr. Glenn. I'm excited to give it to him. We'll see how he reacts. I'm not working on a hat for Reshard. He's a little more picky so it's bit more nerve-wracking. But on the upside-I'll get his feedback as the project comes along.
So talking about this upcoming nudey photoshoot has me in an all-kinds-of-horny-state. I'm not exactly sure why. It's quite embarrassing and frustrating at the same time. I mean- a girl can't even get release for at least 6 hours. GEEZ!
I hope I don't encounter any crazies tonight. I really want it to be chill. But you never know- this IS "the hill" after all.
hmm.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Yes yes yes...
Whew! Today was my first day working two jobs. Technically, I didn't work at The Little Gym, but I did do some training, so it kinda counts. I didn't actually get enough sleep last night because I closed the store at midnight thirty and, instead of going home like a good girl, I went to the gym with Lauren. We busted out the quickest workout in Kiranda/Lauren history. I'm talking ten minutes of iron pumping. And can you believe that I'm sore today? WOWZERS!
I'm being such a slacker in the friend-zone. I should be having a girls night, but I have to work early in the morning in Covington and since I'll be pulling an all day training/thrown in the fire session tomorrow, I decided to go home and rest. Well, I'm not at home. I had such a shitty day at work downtown that I came up the hill and got a beer and am zoning out on the computer. Of course, I'm enjoying the scenery. *wink* [psst- that means there's a hot guy in the building.]
Today, like I mentioned, was quite interesting. I had a photographer snap a picture of me while making his doppio espresso. He then gave me his card and we chatted about taking some artistic nude shots. Whaddaya think? I'm interested. I've been trying to get something like this done for almost two years, so maybe it's a blessing? Here's his work. I'm impressed. So we'll see what happens. I sent him a few shots of what I've already taken. None are nude, just pretty scandy..to kind of show him what he was working with. For example:
So you see what I mean? Yea. We'll see what happens. I think he wants to chat this weekend. I need to mull it over and make sure it's what I want to do, ykwim?
Hmm. I feel a bit tipsy from the beer. Only because I haven't eaten much today. A snickerdoodle cookie and two bean burritos. Yum. lol. I think I still have some left over Rom Mai in my fridge so that will be my dinner. How weird is this? I can't find my paycheck. I think I might've left it at home this morning after I was looking at it. I hope so. Otherwise- *screwed*
I'm currently OBSESSED with Jason Mraz. EVERYONE should go out and get his new album "We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things." I haven't even gone out to get it, but I've heard a few tracks and am LOVING IT! lol. Yes. Jason Mraz and I will get together and we'll make beautiful music together. This is my prediction. Only downside- he's a raw foodist. And I love meat..like woah. But tsk tsk...we'll deal with that later. He's coming here next month. You better believe I'll be there no problem! lol
What else, what else? I'm feeling incredibly loopy right now. I should go.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Movin' On Up!
I'm proud to announce that I got the second job of my dreams! I start tomorrow! I'm soooooo uber-excited. I've been yearning to feel like I'm making a difference somehow, someway- and this is the perfect opportunity.
Don't get me wrong- I love my job at Online! It just doesn't pay enough to fully support myself. And since dear ole' daddy dearest decided to cut his "number 1" off....I've gotta stand on my own two feet. Not really that hard- I just need to buckle down and get serious about my spending/saving habits. Psst-I'll be working at the Harvard/Olive store these next couple of Sunday nights. It's going to be awesome-possum. I'm excited for my friends to be able to come in and visit me at work .
Well. Hopefully I'll be able to handle all the stress of juggling a personal life, a musical career, and two very fun [albeit exhausting] jobs. lol.
Don't get me wrong- I love my job at Online! It just doesn't pay enough to fully support myself. And since dear ole' daddy dearest decided to cut his "number 1" off....I've gotta stand on my own two feet. Not really that hard- I just need to buckle down and get serious about my spending/saving habits. Psst-I'll be working at the Harvard/Olive store these next couple of Sunday nights. It's going to be awesome-possum. I'm excited for my friends to be able to come in and visit me at work .
Well. Hopefully I'll be able to handle all the stress of juggling a personal life, a musical career, and two very fun [albeit exhausting] jobs. lol.
It Was Like Yesterday
Lately, I've been working with Reshard and his band. Unlike our intimate relationship, our musical/business relationship is growing and flourishing beautifully. It's been really exciting working with him on a regular basis.
I'd be lying to myself if I said I didn't look forward to seeing him and that I don't purposely do my hair and makeup in a way that I know will make him remember what we had once upon a time. Gosh I love that boy. More than I really want to admit. I actually am ashamed to admit to others how much my heart beats for him. Is that bad?
And he doesn't make this easier on me!!! The first time we met up to work on writing music he brought a track that he'd written specifically for me. It was entitled "It Was Like Yesterday". Yes, a love song about old memories with someone you loved. *sigh* Well today we kinda worked on it a little bit and here's some lyrics.
It was like yesterday when the sun was out
I saw you sitting there and I remembered all that we were about
I held your hand
I felt your touch
I kissed your lips
I missed you oh so much
We were so in love then
It gets so hard. Especially when he comes to my rescue when no one else is there. Especially when he helps me write love songs. Especially when he's in my corner holding me up and supporting me when I don't feel good enough. Especially when I see the kind of women that flock to him just hoping to get his attention. Especially when I'm crying in front of him over him and he's looking at me like he just wants to take me in his arms and make me stop crying. Especially when I lean in and he doesn't hesitate to kiss me. Especially when we walk down the street and he puts his arms around my shoulder and holds me close. Especially when he doesn't answer his phone and I know he can. Especially when he doesn't want to talk. Especially when he plays the song he wrote just for me. Especially when he's patient. Especially when he's not.
I know it could work if we both worked at it. But I'm afraid of going back there. He is as well. I'm afraid of falling back into our old, tired routine. I'm afraid that we'll succeed but no one will accept us because they've been there before and they doubt we've made it work this time.
I just want to feel like I felt when it was good.
I'd be lying to myself if I said I didn't look forward to seeing him and that I don't purposely do my hair and makeup in a way that I know will make him remember what we had once upon a time. Gosh I love that boy. More than I really want to admit. I actually am ashamed to admit to others how much my heart beats for him. Is that bad?
And he doesn't make this easier on me!!! The first time we met up to work on writing music he brought a track that he'd written specifically for me. It was entitled "It Was Like Yesterday". Yes, a love song about old memories with someone you loved. *sigh* Well today we kinda worked on it a little bit and here's some lyrics.
It was like yesterday when the sun was out
I saw you sitting there and I remembered all that we were about
I held your hand
I felt your touch
I kissed your lips
I missed you oh so much
We were so in love then
It gets so hard. Especially when he comes to my rescue when no one else is there. Especially when he helps me write love songs. Especially when he's in my corner holding me up and supporting me when I don't feel good enough. Especially when I see the kind of women that flock to him just hoping to get his attention. Especially when I'm crying in front of him over him and he's looking at me like he just wants to take me in his arms and make me stop crying. Especially when I lean in and he doesn't hesitate to kiss me. Especially when we walk down the street and he puts his arms around my shoulder and holds me close. Especially when he doesn't answer his phone and I know he can. Especially when he doesn't want to talk. Especially when he plays the song he wrote just for me. Especially when he's patient. Especially when he's not.
I know it could work if we both worked at it. But I'm afraid of going back there. He is as well. I'm afraid of falling back into our old, tired routine. I'm afraid that we'll succeed but no one will accept us because they've been there before and they doubt we've made it work this time.
I just want to feel like I felt when it was good.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Why I Blog.
People are constantly asking me and wondering why I take the time and effort to sit at a computer and spill my thoughts out for potentially everyone to see. That's just ri-dunk-ulous right? Kinda.
You see, I'm a talker. I talk A-LOT! I enjoy telling my life story. If yours was as interesting as mine, wouldn't you want the world to know? lol. A lot goes on in my life and I'm constantly having to make decisions and hash things out...and honestly- though my friends are the most amazing one could ask for- they don't always have the patience to deal with my dramarama. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO enter the wonderful world wide web. lol I would keep it all on my laptop, but I had an unfortunate spillage accident two summers ago that changed that for me, as I have yet to lay down the funds to fix the computer. That all being said- I need to vent. I need to get my thoughts moving. I can't write it all out because it takes too long and I have carpal tunnel really badly.[Not making it easier by being on the computer, either.]
So we've reasoned WHY I blog. Let's talk about my future plans with my blogs. I think I'm going to combine all of my entries. [I've been blogging across different sites since 2005] and put them in a book for my kids. Wouldn't that be great? To see how your mom was when she was in her late teens and twenties?! Maybe they won't appreciate it. But it will at least be a good milemarker to check my own progress. It's going to be exciting.
UNFORTUNATELY- I've had to remove and repost some entries elsewhere due to prying eyes. I thought going somewhere knew would get the little shit off my back, but alas...*sigh*
Until next time.
You see, I'm a talker. I talk A-LOT! I enjoy telling my life story. If yours was as interesting as mine, wouldn't you want the world to know? lol. A lot goes on in my life and I'm constantly having to make decisions and hash things out...and honestly- though my friends are the most amazing one could ask for- they don't always have the patience to deal with my dramarama. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO enter the wonderful world wide web. lol I would keep it all on my laptop, but I had an unfortunate spillage accident two summers ago that changed that for me, as I have yet to lay down the funds to fix the computer. That all being said- I need to vent. I need to get my thoughts moving. I can't write it all out because it takes too long and I have carpal tunnel really badly.[Not making it easier by being on the computer, either.]
So we've reasoned WHY I blog. Let's talk about my future plans with my blogs. I think I'm going to combine all of my entries. [I've been blogging across different sites since 2005] and put them in a book for my kids. Wouldn't that be great? To see how your mom was when she was in her late teens and twenties?! Maybe they won't appreciate it. But it will at least be a good milemarker to check my own progress. It's going to be exciting.
UNFORTUNATELY- I've had to remove and repost some entries elsewhere due to prying eyes. I thought going somewhere knew would get the little shit off my back, but alas...*sigh*
Until next time.
ERIN THOMPSON IS AN ASSHAT!
.:NEWSFLASH!:.
"Extra, Extra! Read all about it!"
...as if you didn't know.
[DISCLAIMER: WARNING! THIS POST CONTAINS A LOT OF PROFANITY. ANY VIRGIN EYES SHOULD LOOK AWAY IMMEDIATELY!]
Since she's so consumed with tracking me and reading all of my ish- I suppose I could give her something to read about!
YOU'RE DERANGED! GO AWAY. FALL OF THE FACE OF THE EARTH. I'M SURE WE'D ALL APPRECIATE THAT.
You would think that after 4 months of nonsense [even at one point- admitting that she had NO chance of getting back with him so she'd stop harrassing me! Don't believe me? I have the messages to prove it.] she'd leave well enough alone. I mean, SERIOUSLY! I'm actually shocked. [And coming from her, I really shouldn't be.] It's just ridiculous to be this hungup and sad and pathetic over a few [or several as she maintains] meetings. C'mon now.
My advice? Grow the fuck up! [pun CERTAINLY intended] Act like the "30wonderful" woman you claim to be [not the girl in the link, that's just sadness.]. Stop stalking a 21 year old and harrassing the guy you're hung up over. In case you didn't know [or were too dense to comprehend], him and I are no longer romantically involved. We are good friends. That's it- nothing more.
You continuing to actively search for me amongst the WWW only proves how much of an asshat and jerkoff we all thought you were. And you wouldn't want us to be right, now would you? So as previously stated, go away. Take it to someone who cares. We obviously don't.
like, woah.
"Extra, Extra! Read all about it!"
...as if you didn't know.
Since she's so consumed with tracking me and reading all of my ish- I suppose I could give her something to read about!
YOU'RE DERANGED! GO AWAY. FALL OF THE FACE OF THE EARTH. I'M SURE WE'D ALL APPRECIATE THAT.
You would think that after 4 months of nonsense [even at one point- admitting that she had NO chance of getting back with him so she'd stop harrassing me! Don't believe me? I have the messages to prove it.] she'd leave well enough alone. I mean, SERIOUSLY! I'm actually shocked. [And coming from her, I really shouldn't be.] It's just ridiculous to be this hungup and sad and pathetic over a few [or several as she maintains] meetings. C'mon now.
My advice? Grow the fuck up! [pun CERTAINLY intended] Act like the "30wonderful" woman you claim to be [not the girl in the link, that's just sadness.]. Stop stalking a 21 year old and harrassing the guy you're hung up over. In case you didn't know [or were too dense to comprehend], him and I are no longer romantically involved. We are good friends. That's it- nothing more.
You continuing to actively search for me amongst the WWW only proves how much of an asshat and jerkoff we all thought you were. And you wouldn't want us to be right, now would you? So as previously stated, go away. Take it to someone who cares. We obviously don't.
like, woah.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Prince Charming- Where Art Thou?
It's during times like these that the reality of singledom hits hardest. I don't have a boyfriend, in case you weren't aware. True, I have loads of guys who'd love to spend time with me, but that time will HAVE to include sex or it's no go. So yes, I have a lot of guys knocking, but no one who is willing to stick around once the "thrill is gone".
It's just frustrating. I'm so sick of opening my inbox on MySpace and seeing a lewd message from some guy asking to get to know me and that they only want to "chill". Here--don't believe me? See for yourself....[grammar and spelling is "as is"..no altering to prove stupidity has been done]
how u doing cutie where u from? and what u doing with u life hit me back I just wont to chat
how you doin shawty would love to chop it up sometime and get to know you maybe you could show me around seattle p.s. beautiful smile
Ive been trying to get a piece of dem cakes forever now
GIRL GEMME DAT PUSSY!
You have GOT to be kidding me, right? Like I would actually respond to that stuff. Get real. I know what you're after.
My whole body is going rigid. I'm so cold right now. I wish I had someone to warm me up.
Really- this is quite scary. I'm going to stop typing because my fingers won't even move fast enough to type. Ahhh I'm freezing.
It's just frustrating. I'm so sick of opening my inbox on MySpace and seeing a lewd message from some guy asking to get to know me and that they only want to "chill". Here--don't believe me? See for yourself....[grammar and spelling is "as is"..no altering to prove stupidity has been done]
how u doing cutie where u from? and what u doing with u life hit me back I just wont to chat
how you doin shawty would love to chop it up sometime and get to know you maybe you could show me around seattle p.s. beautiful smile
Ive been trying to get a piece of dem cakes forever now
GIRL GEMME DAT PUSSY!
You have GOT to be kidding me, right? Like I would actually respond to that stuff. Get real. I know what you're after.
My whole body is going rigid. I'm so cold right now. I wish I had someone to warm me up.
Really- this is quite scary. I'm going to stop typing because my fingers won't even move fast enough to type. Ahhh I'm freezing.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
No More Than I Can Bear
I know He is only knocking me down to bring me back up. I have to constantly remind myself of that fact. He loves me too much to let me suffer. He loves me too much to let me soul go to the wayside. Why is it that when things are going great I forget who got me there? Why is it that I allow myself to get haughty and ahead of myself and think that I can do it all on my own. God has a way of showing you who is God and let me just say...
I'm listening.
Lots of things are going "wrong", if you want to call it that. I never intended on things being so out of hand and out of my control. But I forgot that it never was in my control in the first place. *sigh*
God never puts more on you that you can handle. I'm counting myself blessed because He obviously has more faith in me than I have in myself. I'm leaning on Him for an ounce of that faith right now.
Things could be better, of course. I'm trying to find contentment and peace amidst the storm of life. I know where to look and I'm trying to reforce myself back into the habit.
Thank you God for all you've done thus far, for the things you are yet to do, and for the wisdom, peace, and understanding you are helping me discover each day.
I'm listening.
Lots of things are going "wrong", if you want to call it that. I never intended on things being so out of hand and out of my control. But I forgot that it never was in my control in the first place. *sigh*
God never puts more on you that you can handle. I'm counting myself blessed because He obviously has more faith in me than I have in myself. I'm leaning on Him for an ounce of that faith right now.
Things could be better, of course. I'm trying to find contentment and peace amidst the storm of life. I know where to look and I'm trying to reforce myself back into the habit.
Thank you God for all you've done thus far, for the things you are yet to do, and for the wisdom, peace, and understanding you are helping me discover each day.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Tell Me...Why Oh Why?
Why is it that I tend to meet the guys who are great in all aspects except a few?! And if I'm lucky, he's great except for ONE THING?! *Argh* It's a bit frustrating. And by a bit, I mean a whole bunch!
I've met some really cool guys lately. They make me feel good about myself and they seem interested in getting to know more than just what I can DO and how I can make them feel. Of course, when it seems too good to be true...it most definitely is. Especially in my case.
Take for instance. Guy A. We'll describe him as the artsy intellectual who has a piercing gaze and a fabulous way of making you feel like his g/f from day one. Do I even NEED to mention how sexually compatible we are? The tension is OH-SO-INTENSE between us. Our conversations are great. He appeals to the side of me I haven't tapped into in a long time. Cons? He's really great and then he disappears. I'm talking- days go by without so much as a returned text message or a returned phone call. And those who know me know-I'm not clingy nor do I want to rush you into a relationship. But I expect to hear from you after I spend time at your place. YaknowwhatImean? That's the only drawback so far. I can't determine whether it's him just not wanting to be around me or if he really is just as horrible at communication as I am. Either way, it sucks.
And moving to Guy B. He's the uber-cute, youngin who makes me forget about our age difference because he's so worldy, so smart, and so driven. He's incredibly positive and sensitive to women. He also looks at you and treats you as if you are his girlfriend right off the bat. When we spend time together, we are CONSTANTLY laughing. We share enough similarities to get along and enough differences to learn from each other and balance each other out. His downside? HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND!!! Long distance, mind you. But HE says they're pretty much done with and SHE doesn't realize it yet. Have you seen the chicks MYSPACE? It's got love-sick-puppy written all over it. Sigh sigh sigh.
Then there is also, Ex-Boyfriend of the Year who is constantly reeling me in just enough to care about him again and then he checks out other women's asses and flirts with them right in front of me just to show he's over me. And the Guy-Who-Just-Can't-Commit who plays the same game of "love-me-so-I-can-make-you-feel-like-you-don't-matter". Head games are a trip.
Blah-de-blah-de-blah. Boys suck. But whatev. You can't win 'em all, right? I'm hoping my Prince Charming reveals himself sooner rather than later!
I've met some really cool guys lately. They make me feel good about myself and they seem interested in getting to know more than just what I can DO and how I can make them feel. Of course, when it seems too good to be true...it most definitely is. Especially in my case.
Take for instance. Guy A. We'll describe him as the artsy intellectual who has a piercing gaze and a fabulous way of making you feel like his g/f from day one. Do I even NEED to mention how sexually compatible we are? The tension is OH-SO-INTENSE between us. Our conversations are great. He appeals to the side of me I haven't tapped into in a long time. Cons? He's really great and then he disappears. I'm talking- days go by without so much as a returned text message or a returned phone call. And those who know me know-I'm not clingy nor do I want to rush you into a relationship. But I expect to hear from you after I spend time at your place. YaknowwhatImean? That's the only drawback so far. I can't determine whether it's him just not wanting to be around me or if he really is just as horrible at communication as I am. Either way, it sucks.
And moving to Guy B. He's the uber-cute, youngin who makes me forget about our age difference because he's so worldy, so smart, and so driven. He's incredibly positive and sensitive to women. He also looks at you and treats you as if you are his girlfriend right off the bat. When we spend time together, we are CONSTANTLY laughing. We share enough similarities to get along and enough differences to learn from each other and balance each other out. His downside? HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND!!! Long distance, mind you. But HE says they're pretty much done with and SHE doesn't realize it yet. Have you seen the chicks MYSPACE? It's got love-sick-puppy written all over it. Sigh sigh sigh.
Then there is also, Ex-Boyfriend of the Year who is constantly reeling me in just enough to care about him again and then he checks out other women's asses and flirts with them right in front of me just to show he's over me. And the Guy-Who-Just-Can't-Commit who plays the same game of "love-me-so-I-can-make-you-feel-like-you-don't-matter". Head games are a trip.
Blah-de-blah-de-blah. Boys suck. But whatev. You can't win 'em all, right? I'm hoping my Prince Charming reveals himself sooner rather than later!
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