It Was Like Yesterday

Lately, I've been working with Reshard and his band. Unlike our intimate relationship, our musical/business relationship is growing and flourishing beautifully. It's been really exciting working with him on a regular basis.

I'd be lying to myself if I said I didn't look forward to seeing him and that I don't purposely do my hair and makeup in a way that I know will make him remember what we had once upon a time. Gosh I love that boy. More than I really want to admit. I actually am ashamed to admit to others how much my heart beats for him. Is that bad?

And he doesn't make this easier on me!!! The first time we met up to work on writing music he brought a track that he'd written specifically for me. It was entitled "It Was Like Yesterday". Yes, a love song about old memories with someone you loved. *sigh* Well today we kinda worked on it a little bit and here's some lyrics.

It was like yesterday when the sun was out
I saw you sitting there and I remembered all that we were about
I held your hand
I felt your touch
I kissed your lips
I missed you oh so much
We were so in love then

It gets so hard. Especially when he comes to my rescue when no one else is there. Especially when he helps me write love songs. Especially when he's in my corner holding me up and supporting me when I don't feel good enough. Especially when I see the kind of women that flock to him just hoping to get his attention. Especially when I'm crying in front of him over him and he's looking at me like he just wants to take me in his arms and make me stop crying. Especially when I lean in and he doesn't hesitate to kiss me. Especially when we walk down the street and he puts his arms around my shoulder and holds me close. Especially when he doesn't answer his phone and I know he can. Especially when he doesn't want to talk. Especially when he plays the song he wrote just for me. Especially when he's patient. Especially when he's not.

I know it could work if we both worked at it. But I'm afraid of going back there. He is as well. I'm afraid of falling back into our old, tired routine. I'm afraid that we'll succeed but no one will accept us because they've been there before and they doubt we've made it work this time.

I just want to feel like I felt when it was good.